i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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