I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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