I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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