Nicole vs. Life
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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