I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
