it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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