it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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