Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
