ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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