Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
