Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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