When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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