ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
