I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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