Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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