What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
