You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
