I think i peed on brittanys purse
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
