i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
