"it" just moved
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
