when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
