you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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