One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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