Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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