are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
