a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
