I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
