Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
