He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
