I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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