I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
