I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
