I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
