He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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