Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
