I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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