He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
