i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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