That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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