i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
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She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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