Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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