How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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