Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
