Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
