Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
