Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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