it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
