I'm really into asian looking animals
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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