My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
