we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize