Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
