I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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