She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
