I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize