when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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