kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She has the best kind of daddy issues
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
