I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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