pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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