I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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