On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Randomize
