sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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