I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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