one might say we're banned from that church
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
