I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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