My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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