Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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