If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
